Who is in your inner circle? Who do you allow yourself to be surrounded by that helps you set and get to your goals? When I think about the people I am closest to, I’ve noticed the numbers have become smaller, but also that the quality of these relationships has become stronger. Age and wisdom have given me the opportunity to “weed out” those individuals who were taking more than they were giving. My sense of people pleasing, slowly walked out the door.
But it is not always easy to identify why you would make this move, or who are those people who no longer serve a fulfilling purpose in our lives. In an age where you’re identified by the number of “friends” or “likes” it seems difficult to be picky. However, I believe the need has never been greater.
Some of the most valuable relationships I have are the ones with those I don’t get to see everyday. These are the people who don’t look for problems, they look for solutions. These people can truly be away from me for weeks to months and yet pick up as if we saw one another an hour ago. Most importantly, these are the individuals who support me and allow me to support them as well. They can see me at my best and my worst without judgement, drama, or doubt.
So many of my clients fall into the trap of dealing with the difficulties of those around them. This, in turn, causes them to forget about themselves, deal with unnecessary stress, and pull focus away from dreams and goals. They worry about the negative effects of asserting themselves, only considering that a major meltdown would free them from the toxicity of these people. Depressed and anxious mood becomes a dominating force as well as a significant deterioration of self-esteem coupled with increased self-doubt. This, is not quality living.
Dr. Phil says, “People will only treat you the way that you allow them.” So much power in these words!! I say, there are so many wonderful people we are unable to allow in our lives when we leave our heart open to those who do not have our best interest at heart. How long will you continue to follow this path? Just how many people do you need to make you feel that you’re good enough, smart enough, worthy enough? I can tell you, the number is much smaller than you think.
Until next time…..